Loving Awareness

Feeling frustrated with our poor diet I went through our food and started to throw certain things away. The thought of wasting that food when we ourselves are on a tight budget was more than I could take so I put it in a large thick plastic shopping bag and placed it in the car with us as I drove kids to school.

I saw a gentleman who looked as if he had not had a meal in a long time but hesitated to stop. I felt uneasy and did not want to stop with kids in the car. Growing up in the city I am well aware that the majority of folks living on the street are not to be feared however I have also seen the severely mentally disturbed lose control and it isn't fun to be near.

I dropped the kids off at school, came back around and saw that he was carrying two flimsy grocery bags with holes in them. Not only did he look hungry but those bags were about to break. That was when I knew my big, sturdy bag of food was for him. I offered him the bag and his scary visage totally changed. I was no longer focused on the dirty clothes or long, grey beard. Instead I saw that he had blue eyes that widened with wonder as I offered the food. He looked like a little boy being offered his own pony. "For real?" he asked me with a sweetness that touched me to the deepest part of my spirit.

I am glad that I could put my fears aside and act from Loving Awareness at least this one time. It was worth it. I hope that everyone reading this can take a moment to say to themselves, "I am Loving Awareness."

For another viewpoint on Loving Awareness click here.

Spirit Drum

I have painted all of my life, to the point where I worked as a commissioned artist during college for extra income, but only recently have I worked closely with Spirit as I painted. When I was younger painting was a technical skill and I was always calculating design and color and carefully considering each stroke of the brush before it was made. I enjoyed my work but it was painstakingly slow and methodical. I felt more like an illustrator than an artist. An 11x14 watercolor could take me several days to even weeks to complete. When I was called by Spirit to begin painting Spirit Animals, Guides and Totems everything changed.

Where I had once pre-planned my composition (at the very least the subject!) now I found that I was painting before I even had a chance to know what exactly it was I was doing. Spirit now directed everything and it almost seemed as if I were along for the ride. Part of me observes with amusement as my hand speeds across the media, my mind is light, calm, relaxed. I no longer agonize over every stroke and pre-plan my movements. My first Spirit painting shocked me: it looked nothing like what I had come to regard as my “style” and it was beautiful and alive with a depth that I never had thought possible. 

When I discovered that the painting was meant for another I admit have a tough time letting it go. I had not realized at the time I was painting it for someone else and I and my family had fallen in love with it. Since that first painting I have completed many Spirit paintings for others yet who they were for were directed by Spirit and when I wanted to create a Spirit painting for my best friend and spiritual sister, I was left empty. Nothing would come and my few attempts were throw-backs to my days as an artist working only from my own brain, they were deeply dissatisfying and flat. I became frustrated as I was guided to paint for acquaintances and even strangers but not for her. I knew I was supposed to but that the time was not right. What in the heck was Spirit waiting for? Why would the time not be right if I already knew I was going to do it at some point?

As usual, Spirit is far wiser than I could ever know. Months went by and I found out that my friend had been hospitalized (the first time in her incredibly healthy life) and it was incredibly serious. She spent days in the hospital and during that time Spirit paid her a visit and gave notice that there was to be a major change in her life. She was getting a forced course-correction as I had experienced not too long ago myself.  She asked me to paint her beloved frame drum with the images of the Spirit Guides who had recently come to work with her and those that had been with her far longer.  I was beyond excited; I knew this was what I had waited for. My work was to be as much a confirmation of her new path and experiences as her request was a confirmation of my own.

She arrived at my home fresh out of the hospital, still hooked up to apparatus that worked to save her life, and I was humbled at the site of her. She was different as if the previous version of her had been as two-dimensional as my old work.  Spirit was thick around her and it was awe-inspiring to be near. She tired easily but she spoke with excited energy as she talked about her experiences and what she hoped for her drum. When I asked for particulars of what she wanted (a throw-back to my commissioned artist days) she only commented that she trusted me and that I would KNOW.

I worked for two days solid barely taking time to eat. I was flying with a speed that amazed me and what should have taken me at least a week was completed in less than 48 hours. As I worked, her Guides spoke to me and I smiled and wrote the messages to her as soon as I got them, afraid I would forget. Part of me thought I should have been irritated at the interruptions to the painting but I knew the messages were just as important as the project itself and they provided my cramping fingers a break from the brush. As her Guides spoke to me I learned so much more about my best friend, my understanding of her deepened and my excitement in the project grew. The drum was growing in beauty and not just from the paint altering its surface.

As the Spirit guides emerged onto the surface of the drum the energy level of the drum rose to the point where the hairs on my body would stand on end and I would get goose bumps. It was thrilling to experience an ordinary drum transforming into an object of personal power and I was beyond excited to present it to my friend.

The paint was barely dry when she and her husband came to get the drum. She exclaimed that it was just what she had hoped for and how beautiful it was. She thanked me for the many messages and glowed with joy as she carried it about with her the whole time we visited, talked and walked my garden. Hours later I am still in flight. I may not always agree with Spirit but when we work together the magic that emerges never ceases to amaze me.